Monday, September 8, 2014

My Life Has Been A Nightmare Or Something Horrible like That!

No, not my whole life...
For the last 10 years of my life, or so, I have been partially holding my breath, my life on pause, waiting, waiting, waiting, and hoping for all of the dark, bad, horrible things to stop showing their ugly faces laced with unmentionable amounts of hurt, anxiety, and pain so I can move on and get back to the life I knew before it all began. It seems as though I have waited at least half of my lifetime. Speaking of which, I am only 51 years on this beautiful planet we call earth. So I am not as "saged" in life as some but not nearly as naive as others. I do not claim to "know it all" or to even know more than any of you who may find yourself perusing the words I have written on this blog. I am, however, tired of holding my breath, which causes such a continuous pain in my chest, and constantly waiting and hoping for my world to turn back to at least it's original state of balance and what I once called happy. Instead I have decided to pick myself up from the shattered rubble I awoke to find myself engulfed in and to learn how to stand upright and to walk on through and over a completely un-balanced terrain in which I seem to continually find myself to be. Because make no mistake, each time I believed I had reached the end of my troubles and I felt the warmth of a warm promising sun on my face, without fail trouble would befall me once again and down I would fall backward into the sharp shards of hurt and despair. But... Finally I felt that I was no longer falling as hard and that even some times the sun ceased to completely disappear as times before.
That But... Is the story I intend to tell. Not all at once, of course. Not all right now.
Be patient with me, hear what I am trying to say as I endeavor to tell "my side of my life's story."
I must tell it! It may not be from beginning to end, but before I am through, I hope I get to tell the best parts and that my life's simple story will be a light to someone who may be wondering in the darkness of life.
I will be posting this post and it's subsequent posts under the blog I created for it especially,
"Remembering Me."
Julie Ann

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